Shit I Learned From Country Music

THIS AIN'T YER PAPPY'S WEBSITE. YER PAPPY DON'T HAVE NO COMPUTER.

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM
YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT LUKE. JUST KEEP THAT UP AND I’LL LET YOU HAVE A SIP OF MY DR. PEPPER.

YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT LUKE. JUST KEEP THAT UP AND I’LL LET YOU HAVE A SIP OF MY DR. PEPPER.

HOOOLLLEEEEEE SHEEEIT! I TOOK A TRIP DOWN THIS BACKROAD AND NOW I’M SURROUNDED BY GIANT FUCKING FARM ANIMALS.
IS THIS HOW MONICA LEWINSKY FELT?
YOU KNOW, JASON, SALMONELLA IS JUST A FICTIONAL CREATION BY THE LIBERAL MEDIA TO SCARE US OUT OF ENJOYING OUR GOD DAMNED TURKEY.
YOU KNOW KENNY, I’VE PLAYED A CHAUFFEUR, A FREED SLAVE, AN INMATE, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, AND GOD HIMSELF. BUT I AIN’T NEVER PLAYED NOBODY AS BALD AS YOU.
HEY SELENA, IF YOU WEAR THESE COOL GLASSES YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT JUSTIN DIDN’T SLEEP WITH THAT GIRL AND GET HER PREGGERS. IT HELPED ME WRITE ALL MY HIT SONGS TOO.
WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO BE THE THIRD WHEEL IN A COUNTRY BAND.

WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO BE THE THIRD WHEEL IN A COUNTRY BAND.

I MAY BE DRUNK,
BUT IN THE MORNING I’LL BE SOBER AND YOU’LL STILL BE HITLER.
(OK, MAYBE I’LL STILL BE DRUNK IN THE MORNING.)

I MAY BE DRUNK,

BUT IN THE MORNING I’LL BE SOBER AND YOU’LL STILL BE HITLER.

(OK, MAYBE I’LL STILL BE DRUNK IN THE MORNING.)

Thanks

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